I was once used to being treated as a equal, Some Would Call It Normal “Gay Male”. But inside I would feel completely different, like I wasn’t whole. I used to tell my parents an myself I’m missing something, but don’t know what it is. I would feel like as if I wasn’t myself completely. But I would just leave it in the my head.
As the years went on I would notice how uncomfortable I felt inside. I would always relate more to women than men. I never felt like One of the men. I always understood women, not only personally but emotionally. An I was more attracted to men sexually.
As I got older an mature I realized, what I was missing. I understood why I felt incomplete, I always felt like I was inside the wrong body. I always like a woman, an I was always feminine. I finally I told myself I’m gonna completely be me, I’m gonna be my true self. I’m gonna be the woman I am inside.
As I started to explore an try to figure out what woman I wanted to be. An the woman I wanted to become. I made an “Doctors” appointment to start the transitioning process. So I Began taking “Estrogen” shots. Where I began growing breast, my skin began getting smoother. That’s When I became “Lala”, that’s when I felt complete. But as I felt complete on the inside on the outside to “America” I was still considered a man.
The world treated me like a freak, as if I was a alien from another planet. I was confused on what bathroom to use. What pronouns do I prefer. What did I want the world to consider me as. I didn’t know, what came with being a Transexual. I didn’t know how looked down upon it was. I remember walking into a room an individuals walking away from me. An I remember being blacked balled from different events an get togethers.
I remember individuals purposely calling me sir maliciously to hurt my feelings. An for this all was new to me. Not only being treated like that but still trying to figure out an understand the new me. So I ask, am I wrong for being my true self?
Experience & Journey, As A Trans Woman
I had the pleasure interviewing,
Carlisha Gizelle Brown. Where she opened up an shared her journey an experience as a, Trans Woman in the, “L.G.B.T Community”.
1. Where you from?
Born in San Luis Obispo, but grew up in Sacramento l.
2. How old were you, when you started living as the woman you are today?
I was 27 when I made the decision to be honest. But I battled with my gender identity my entire life!
3. What challenges did you face?
Oh geez! My slogan quickly became “you loose many, but you gain yourself!”. The trans life is no easy street, it’s literally the survival of the fittest!
4. What are your pronouns?
Queen, Motha, Bitch, and Goddess! Lol
5. How did your family react? Unfortunately, do to wester belief systems, my family 100% turned there back on me in the name of religion.
6. What are your hobbies?
I’m a true nomad on my own shit. A stoner at heart and I enjoy all things that feel good. Bike rides on the beach. My bed, a blunt, and a good book! Or dancing in my living room to Stevie Wonder!
7. What are your talents?
Originally I was a dancer. All threw grade school, but I fell quickly in love with make up. Aside from that I have a gift for the art of subduction.
8. What are some of your greatest accomplishments?
That’s easy, living! Being a black trans woman at the age of 38!! That in its self defies the statistics. 40% of the trans youth we loose to suicide due to bullying! The average life expectancy of a trans person is 32. On my 32 bday… I just gave thanks! I’m still standing!
9. What advice would you give upcoming Trans in our community?
Work on the inside first and fall in love with all that you are! Define your expression to match your fingerprint and find your voice! The rest will work it’s self out! It all starts with in.
10. What beauty tips can you give our young trans in the community.
SKIN CARE OVER COSMETICS lol!!
Written by LaLa